Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Things Zombies Love

Here's a little something that's just about as far removed as possible from the dismal mood in which I find myself, a little blast-from-the-past I threw this together ages ago when I first went on Facebook. All sorts of dumb lists were circulating. One that caught my attention was "Things Zombies Love." I like a good zombie movie and I've long ranked the two best as two of the best films ever to emerge from the horror genre, so I took a few minutes and prepared my own horror-nerd-heavy list. I'm not feeling the laughs now but maybe one of my other two readers will see it and smile:

"Things Zombies Love"

1. My imagination (They've consumed it, of late) [Editorial note: I was writing a series of stories featuring the living dead at the time.]

2. George Romero (He makes them SUPERSTARS!)

3. Paraplegics (They put up the least struggle)

4. Sarah Palin (Politician who, though alive, still "thinks" at their level)

5. Tyler Perry movies (Who else is going to enjoy them?)

6. Long walks

7. NEKROMANTIK (From a zombie's POV, a tender romantic comedy)

8. Paramedics

9. Cops

10. Hardcore fans of the 1990 NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD remake (The dead sense their intellectual kinship)

11. Dracula (Their James Bond fantasy, shows that even the living dead can be suave and sophisticated and get the ladies)

12 The Cryptkeeper (Proves that even a zombie can become a mainstream star)

13. Jesus (Also rose from the dead.

14. "Slow Children At Play" signs (Handy lunch tips)

15. Soylent Green (It's made of people!)

16. Jennifer Connolly (Yes, it's true they want to eat anyone who is alive, but can anyone doubt they'd probably like to eat her just a little bit more than all the others?).

17. Marvel Zombies (Their heroes)

18. CPAC (A place they can go and inconspicuously mingle with the living)

19. Zombie movies (Being extras in such films usually being the only paid work they can get)

20. Shuffleboard



  1. LOL - Hey, I'd like to eat Jennifer Connolly myself! She's DELICIOUS looking!

  2. Hey J, loved the list. Looks like you and I both dropped off the face of the blogosphere. Hope everything is going ok or at least better than before. I miss reading your stuff, hope you snap out of whatever funk you were/are in and get back to writing, i'm gonna try and do the same. (Even got myself a new vcr so I can watch my tapes) peace brother

  3. The last seven months have been, for me, the absolute worst seven months of my life. People use hyperbole all the time, but how often can someone honestly say that? I can now. I don't know when I'll be up and running again. I'm trying. My problem is that I'm not even sure I want to try. I'm doing what I can (if I sound out-of-it just now, I feel out-of-it.). I just haven't yet gotten back to writing anything new that's worth reading.

  4. well I'm pulling for you. I truly and honestly hope things get better for you, I was in a similar state (at least about my writing) but I found just getting back to it brings it's own rewards. I really do enjoy reading your work. I'll keep my eye out for more new posts and if you're on twitter follow me. @drunkonvhs we'll keep in touch

  5. I wouldn't mind eating Jennifer Connelly myself... and me ain't no zombie!

  6. Lol @ Georgeo Romero making them stars, if I was a zombie, he'd be my hero and adopted Dad & lol Sarah Pailin thinking at their level. x_x